acoustic harmonics

i will rise

2009-05-01T12:19:00.002+08:00

"I Will Rise"
by Chris Tomlin

It's been an emotional week to say the least. And well this song was the song that i listened to immediately after all had happened, and it just really comforted me. I knew that however deep i had sunk, however badly i've fallen, that God's always there. And that when He calls my name, I will rise.

hello love

2009-04-26T18:02:00.002+08:00

Of faith, hope, and love, Love is the greatest of them all. And i'm sure many would agree with me, especially those who find themselves at a common period in our life's journey, that we all want to experience and savour for ourself the beauty that is love. Love can take many forms, be it a parent's love toward their children, the greatest one there ever is, God's unconditional love for each and everyone of us, or say between 2 indiviguals. And i must say that since the begginning of this year till now, i have learnt alot about what it means to love and be loved.

Love between 2 individuals, commonly defined as a relationship (haha). What does being in a relationship entail? Does it mean giving the other individual all of the time and attention that you have? Does it mean that your whole life becomes centered around the other person? I guess why many relationships never seem to work out, i believe is because we all are in it for what we can get from the other person. In other words, what can I get from the other person? What's in it for me? Yet i have realised, that being in a relationship, loving a person, is really what you can offer to the other. Well of course that being said it doesn't mean that we're always expected to give. There has to exist a very healthy balance of giving AND taking, but i somehow feel that the emphasis for both indiviguals should be on what they can give to the other person, to build the person up, to edify him or her. Then again you might say, if we both give, we have to take too right? Yes that's true, but the taking should come as a RESULT of the giving! I guess many problems arise when one party seems to be taking more than the other who is constantly giving, yes by nature one party might be the one who naturally gives more, but i kinda feel that in the end, things just won't work out. Im not saying that it can't, but definitely from what i can see a majority of such relationships don't work out.

I have made it a point, to never enter into a relationship unless i have the intention of marraige in mind. Some may say, "Woah! that's a really bold statement to make!" I remebered sharing this with my classmates sometime last year, and they said, "Huh that means you won't get to experience different relationships and your choices will be so limited!" Yes that's true in a way, but i feel that as much as some of us are more suited for certain types of people, and one of the ways in which we can know what "type" of people suit us, is definitely by meeting new people and dating and all, yet to me what really matters i guess is not whether the person is suited to you or not, but rather a matter of accepting the flaws and the differences that the other party has. Yes definitely compatibility of personalities and all definitely matter to a certain extent, but that should not be the only determinant in whether we can see one as out potential partner!

One final thing that i kind of thought about in a way, is really how we "behave" if i can say, around people of the opposite sex when we are entering into a relationship or are already in one. One thing i have always believed in, is that between 2 parties involved in a relationship, who eventually plan to get married and spend the rest of their lives together, one of the most important thing is the mutual respect and consideration that one party offers to the other. And by respect i mean it both in words and actions! And i guess this extends beyond the 2 involved in the relationship. Especially in the church setting, where for me at least i spend most of my time. When your in an environment when you're not accountable to anyone, whatever you say or do goes. But in the church setting, i guess i have always reminded myself never to give the wrong impression to anyone. Especially, when you're in a relationship or considering entering onto one, should the other party see you talking to say other girls, smiling and joking and all, hmmms i guess it doesn't make the other party feel very comfortable. And please don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that we should not have friends of the opposite sex, in fact it's essential that we have friends of the opposite sex besides your boyfriend or girlfriend! But there has to exist a certain level of intimacy and closeness that you ONLY extend to the other party, not to every friend of the oppostie sex that you have! And i really feel that till you're ready to do that, ready to really devote your heart to one single person, you shouldn't be considering entering into a relationship of any sort.

Well i could go on talking more about this, but alas dinner is calling out to me, and i gotta head back to camp soon. ha to be continued!

so whats life been like?

2009-04-09T22:55:00.002+08:00

Been awhile since i blogged about what's been happening in life so far. About 3 weeks ago, went over to Signals Institute over at Stagmont camp at CCK. Well i'll consider myself lucky in a way that i'll spend the rest of my 21 months meaningfully, at least i get to learn things that i probably wont be able to otherwise have the chance to, and being PES C i consider myself lucky to be one of the few that get posted to a combat vocation, instead of the rest of my peers that get otherwise rather mundane and dry vocations. Tough it definitely will be, but well it's an experience i guess, a rather unforgettable one from the way things have been going haha.

As for Uni applications, was rather surprised that i got accepted into NUS FASS rather early, earlier than the rest of my friends. But ohwells went over for the SMU interview for Soc Sci, and somehow in the end i think that if i do get accepted into SMU that i'll end up accepting their offer instead of NUS. Think somehow that SMU has a more vibrant and lively culture, and the degree's more broad based, haha plus it's so much nearer. But then again who knows, have till June to accept the offers anyway.

But in spite of all that's been happening (not much really haha), somehow i feel that while these 2 years might pass really slow and all, yet i feel that it's in this time of seperation from the comforts of home, from the familiarity of friends and family, and even the routines that i'm so used to, is really a time that i can set apart and really walk closer and more intimately with Christ. Guess what i've realised especially in the past 3 weeks and all, is that each and every day i need to set aside time and spend it reading the Word, speaking to God in my own way. Not gonna lie and say that i've been doing my devotions regularly, sometimes there's just things to do in camp, yet there are other times when i'm just plain lazy, or stinking tired. But i don't know, guess we're in a fight not physical, a war, but not with this world. Been reading a book entitled "Wrestling With God", and the caption below the title really captured my attention. How can i love a God i'm not sure i can trust? And it's been speaking to me in many ways, answering many of the questions that believers like myself, and non-believers alike, have. And i've just been thinking to myself, how much i really want to go to heaven now. But then again i guess i realise that God would've taken me away of He had wanted to. I know that I'm not done with this life on earth, there's still a long way more to go. It's not gonna be easy, and i know that i'm gonna struggle and feel discouraged many a times. Yet i know that i serve a God that ultimately will see me through. What i know can never match up to what He knows, all i can do is to hold on and keep the faith.

"Eli Eli, Lame Sabachthani..."

its the little things in life that make it beautiful

2009-04-05T17:30:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, it's the little things in life, the scenes in life that we oh so often take for granted that reminds me that life, while harsh and full of turmoils, can at the same time posses such beauty, one that can only have come from a Savior who loved. Many people ask, why do you believe in the God that you believe in? What evidence can you present me, that i might believe in Him? But see some things in life have to be experienced. There's only so much a finite mind can do to describe an infinite God. There's a limitation to my understanding, yet i serve a God that transcends understanding. There's only so much i know about my future, but my God knows His plan for me through and through. There's only that certain extent that people think they know me, yet my Savior, my Heavenly Father knows each and every thought that runs through my mind, even before i know. There's only so much love i can demonstrate, but i know i never will, never will, ever compare to that which He has shown me.

"Dear heavenly Father, I pray that as broken as I am, as undeserving as I might be, that you would still extend your grace upon me, and use me as you will. I'm tired of living life my way, tired of praising You only when things seem to be going well. Lord i pray that you would take control, the Lord i praise you when I'm winning, but when I'm losing, that I PRAISE YOU STILL."

When the cold wind blows

2009-03-31T14:14:00.001+08:00

" In the early morning sun,
With a field pack on my back.
With an aching in my heart,
And my back is full of sweat.

I'm a long long way from home,
And i miss my lover so.
In the early morning sun,
When the cold wind blows.

When the cold wind blows,
When the cold wind blows,
When the cold wind blows,
When the cold wind blows.

I know, i know,
You have to go,
So hurry back home,
Cause i miss you so. "

love

2009-03-18T22:00:00.002+08:00

" Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. "
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

" Love does not fail.."
1 Corinthians 13:8

" But now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is LOVE."
1 Corinthians 13:13

off the island!

2009-03-10T19:55:00.002+08:00

the recruit has been promoted to a private! not that its something very great ha but still it means that im off tekong island, hopefully never having to return back there haha. ohwells BMT has passed by real quickly, and though i went in with the mentality that it probably was just a waste of time and i'll learn nothing, but contrary to that i must say that i have walked away with experiences that i'll carry through my life. the one thing i remember especially i think it was sargeant joseph saying, during our field camp, that when we go through tough times in life , in his exact words that we've "been through worse shit than this". its only when you sink real deep, placed in the most miserable conditions that you can think of, that i guess you really treasure the things that you have around you. its one thing to know that you should treasure the things you have around you, but to actually go through an experience and learn from there that you SHOULD never take the things around you for granted, thats another thing altogether.

As results on friday, just a random note first the 2 smartest 19 year olds on the island are from Ulysses Company! one of them's even my bunk mate, a.k.a "teacher". 9 As or something. ohwells, haha some people are just smarter than others (me) haha. i didnt do that badly, A for math (hoho surprising i must say) Bs for the rest. hmms i must admit i'd expected to do better, but on retrospect i realised that compared to the rest of my friends around me, i didn't really put in the hard work deserving of good grades, so yeah i guess im grateful with the amount of work that i put in i got those grades. hopefully it'll be sufficient to secure me a place at FASS at NUS or at social sciences at SMU.

my future decided

2009-02-28T23:47:00.002+08:00

rumor has it A results are coming out this coming friday. well no better time in my opinion, i get a really long weekend before my block leave and passing out from BMTC 2 a.k.a pulau tekong. then again in the blink of an eye, almost 6 weeks have flown by, and i'm about to pass out in about 10 days time. and wells, i guess the decision as to which U to apply to will come immediately after the release of the results, i can't say that i;m not worried or anxious about my results, who wouldn't be? but ohwells, whats done has already been done, and retaking's out of the question. decided it'll come down to psychology at NUS, or the social sciences degree at SMU, of course pending my results. can't really imagine myself studying anything else, so yeah, we'll see.

and i thought about this whilst i was soaking wet staying in a forest on tekong island filled with mud, smelling just absolutely fabulous, there was this banner that hangs on the entrance as you enter tekong. says something like "its not what you'll leave in the days behind, it's what you'll gain in the days ahead." back then it totally did not make any sense to me at all, why on earth would i leave the comforts of home, family and friends. but as i was out there in the field, thinking about what the whole experience of BMT and army life has been so far, somehow i felt a feeling of nostalgia. if the army has taught me anything, it'll be that we should always treasure the people we have around us, the comforts of our home. always count your blessings, somehow we dont know how to appreciate them till they're taken away from us.

" don't know what the future's gonna be like, and to tell you the truth i really am afraid that this might not turn out the way we want it too. i'm still learning more day by day, and i know that many a times i've neglected your feelings, maybe hurt you even. but then again thank you for accepting me for who i am. thank you."

-

2009-02-21T01:47:00.002+08:00

" i've always thought of myself as being a strong person, one that can quickly adapt to environments and situations. one that was always cheerful, contented with what he had, with the blessed life that he had. not that any of that's changed, but somehow something in me's changed. can't pinpoint what it is, but somehow i just know.

but today i finally figured it out. it has just been really spiritually draining being in a totally new environment, one that isn't all that friendly. not that i'm giving myself any excuse whatsoever, but ohwells, life has to go on. yes we've all heard bout faith and what just a little measure of it can do, yeah that was the theory, now's the time for the practical."

Army days

2009-02-14T23:18:00.002+08:00

Out from the island i have had to call home for the past 2 weeks, and for the coming 4. well ha got quite a bit of culture shock when i enlisted i must say, not so much from the physical surroundings or from the regimentation, nor from sharing a room with 12 others haha. but i guess it was more of the people i met in there, ha sort of like you never ever knew these kind of people existed. and definitely it showed me a whole new perspective, or should i say side of society that i thought existed in the past. well the first 2 weeks, the "adjustment period" have been rather slack and relaxed, adding onto the fact that i'm undergoing PES C modified BMT, ha just makes things more relaxed. compared to our neighbour companies PES A/B companies, ha just thankful i dont have to do the things they do. but then again things might change once we book in again, 1915 tomorrow evening at pasir ris bus interchange en route to pulau tekong.

then again not everythings gloom and loom in pulau tekong, for starters my company has probably the best location on the island! nearest to the ferry terminal and real close to the cookhouse, plus we have a cool seaside view! smokers say we have the best smoking place on the island. the sunrise and sunset's always beautiful, sadly no cameras are allowed or i'll definitely snap some shots. it's real windy at night and in the morning too! which makes sleeping at night ultra comfortable, apart from the fans which spin twice as fast as any other fan ha. and of course army life is never dull with all the different kinds of people you have in there, the very different life experiences that they go through, and hmms somehow it makes me appreciate more so the family and friends that i have, the environment i was brought up in and stuff.

well 2 weeks have passed 4 more weeks to go, and soon i'll be out of tekong!

with a tinge of sadness

2009-01-28T00:30:00.002+08:00

"it wasn't that i had nothing to say, i guess it just was that i didn't want to make a hard parting any harder..."

my new found love - angelina

2009-01-22T00:01:00.001+08:00

a week more to go

2009-01-20T23:57:00.002+08:00

yeap it's a week counting down to enlistment at Basic Military Training School 2 on Pulau Tekong island! 28th january (yes the 3rd day of CNY) 11.20am! so yeah i'll be missing for a few weeks, only to be released on weekends after the 2 week confinment period. haha ohwells, no worries 7 weeks will pass in the blink of an eye. somehow i'm kinda looking forward to enlisting, at least i'll stop rotting at home and at least do something useful, haha though to quite an extreme. on a side note, wong brothers and probably nikki will be tagging along to Pulau Tekong to see me off! haha they gave us all 5 places why waste them!

and well the past week has been hmmms i guess a sort of emotional roller coaster of sorts. things have happened then hmmms i guess have caused some regret and hurt, but wells things have turned out fine. haha i've never expected myself to be troubled by affairs of the heart, but well i guess that i'm not immune to it too. and well haha i can say that these problems especially with regard to the heart are very emotionally draining and taxing mentally. but wells being the optimist that i am (haha pam cheng at the office commented, "he always looks so happy!") and someone commenting that i'm a "champion at getting over things", haha i guess yeah the mistakes were made and lessons were learnt. and yeah just thankful that things have turned out fine. we'll never know what happens in the future, but i guess all we can do is to treasure what we have right now. the present! (:

the heart has reasons that reason does not understand

2009-01-13T20:07:00.003+08:00

Alas as jiayi says, my final year as a "something-teen" has started as of today. yeap another year has gone by and finally nineteen has arrived. and well for once in a long time i "celebrated" my birthday. haha don't usually celebrate my birthdays, probably just a dinner with the family. but mum suggestes a dinner for close friends, and yeah had a great time with a few close friends at my place yesterday. and today spent the day alone catching a movie and then buying myself a present, haha. yes weird as many people have told me, even mum. but somehow i feel that we need to spend time with ourselves at times, give us the space we need to reflect and if need be, remind ourselves of our purposes and goals.

here's a shoutout to the net, danielle, josh, caleb, weng keong, clement, esther tay, yao rong for taking time out and coming down. you guys have been great as a net, and i'm pretty sure this net will grow, both in numbers and spiritually. thanks guys!

to sharon, jenny, jasmine, waihong, edward, yinhong, stephanie, huiyi and jingyang. my beloved EXCOs you guys have been a fun lot and i thoroughly enjoyed all the times we spent together. you guys have been great friends and i sure do hope that all the experiences we had you'll carry for a long time to come (:

to esther and cheryl, the "others". haha. thank you both for coming down too, hope yall enjoyed yourself and the food!

and finally of course to mum, who planned and executed the entire dinner. probably the most awesome mum anyone could have. don't tell you often, but yeah thanks mum!

and of course, whats a birthday without presents! "Streams in the Desert" from jenny, jasmine & sharon. "Next Level Living" from esther, cheryl and gladys! and AWESOME elephant soft toy from the juniors haha. Esprit polo tee and fragrance from the net! and a new bag from myself!

"the heart has reasons that reason does not understand..."

it's been great so far

2009-01-07T01:28:00.006+08:00

seems so surreal that we're in yet another new year. but well things have been awesome so far. even as i went out today and see students in their uniforms at the MRT stations and walking along the roads, a part in me seems to miss school life. for all the things i learnt ( no NOT academically) and experiences i've shared with the various groups of people, the moulding and shaping that well hmmms let say only the singaporean education system can do. time flies really fast and i turn a year older in about 6 more days, moving on to yet another part of my life. haha as if to remind me of my enlistment, my phone died yesterday night. timely as well i must add, since i'll have to change it before i enlist. well got a new cameraless phone for "Security Sensitive Personnel" as it says on the box, and realised that King Joel has the same phone. haha.

pictures from Joshua's 21st! so sweet right the 2 of them! if my girlfriend buys me a guitar next time i'm pretty sure i'll burst into tears! haha

well as i look on into the year 2009, i'm sure that it'll be a year like no other. even at watchnight service 3 words kept going through my head, renewal, multiplication and one more which sadly i cannot seem to recall. well somehow i feel that this is what God has in store for the youth ministry here at VFC. renewal in the sense that i feel that 2009 will be a year where God renews every aspect of our spiritual lives and i believe the entire ministry too. many a times personally i have felt, sadly, that church had become nothing more than a routine, and i served just cause i had to. but yet i feel God telling me that in year 2009. things will be different. that He'll renew the passion in the youth and even the entire Church to worship Him like never before, to reach the lost, to see souls saved, and just to exist for the sole purpose of lifting His name high. i'm expecting great things this year, and i know i serve a faithful God.

and yes of course, multiplication. the vision of 300 net leaders by the end of this year seems to tie in totally with this word. last year at youth camp, i remember on the last night towards the end of the last session, when the altar call was gove for those who wanted to serve who wanted to be used in a greater way, i remember telling myself, that if there was any youth ministry going to reach the youths of Singapore, this was it. i saw a ministry that was willing to do what it took to realise the vision, a ministry that will hold on to the promise that it had been given, and ministry that would persevere not giving up till we saw our vision fulfilled. and i must say that i am proud to be a part of that. i know that i'm weak, i know that i've made countless mistakes, i know that i've fallen short of the glory of God, that he should have no reason at all to use me. yet i thank Him, for no matter how many times i have fallen, irregardless of the sins i've comitted, i know that my heavenly Father is always there, waiting to pick me up again. 2 Corinthians 12:9: " My grace is sufficient for thee, for My strength is made perfect in your weakness." like what i heard during one of the sermons during the Edge, God's not glorified through our strengths, He's glorified through our weaknesses.

"Oh how many times have i broken your heart, but still You forgive, if only i'd ask..."

In the blink of an eye

2009-01-01T17:27:00.002+08:00

In the blink of an eye, for lack of a better cliche, year 2008 has flown by. 2008 was a tough year for me personally. haha anyone who has went through the A levels will definitely agree that the As PWN all your other major examinations. had an awesome year, of course filled with triumphs. Perfect 5th was the highlight of the year i guess, it made me real proud being part of the ensemble, as well as of course having the honor of leading them. performing to a full house rocking the house with CSUS4, nothing would overshadow that. going with the ensemble to Osaka Japan also really served as a great ending and closure to the year and a half that we spent together. the memories i'll take with me for a long long time to come.

of course lets not forget the lessons that i learnt. in the area of relationships, "the adventures of Ian and the strawberry girl", AHAHA seriously made me reconsider and refocus my attitudes toward dating and relationships and stuff. many people have asked me, why not now since A levels are over? well i tell them that this, that its not the time to enter into a relationship. most people might not know, haha my classmates will, that i've made a promise to myself that my first relationship will be my only. its unrealistic to some i know, and this year i came very very close to not fulfilling it, but yeah its something that i believe can be done. besides this is probably the only time that i'm gonna be single. of course yeah like everyone desires the intimacy and closeness that we get in a relationship, but on the other hand singlehood is a time when you can devote your entire time to things that you really want to achieve, without any distractions.

well for 2008 if theres anything that i can thank God for it would be for Him being faithful. for about 4 years ive been having a bad case of skin inflammation. started in sec 2 for no reason at all and it really affected me alot. it would itch real bad when i perspired, even at night and yeah it would just hurt real bad. but yeah throughout the course of the year, it wasnt an overnight thing but yeah God gradually healed me of this skin condition and yeah its gone now! so thank God! and yeah though i've fallen many times fallen short of His glory, yet time and time again he recieves me back into His arms, using what little i had for His glory and His name, that His name be lifted high. it reminds me of a verse in 2 Corinthians 12:9 ( i think cant really remember) " My grace is sufficient for thee, for My strength is made perfect in your weakness" it's on a wooden keychain that i have that has my name on it, and it says, God is Gracious. so yeah.

2009 is gonna be an exciting year. well besides the fact that im enlisting in about 4 weeks time and spend the next 2 years doing well im not sure what at this moment in time, but yeah even the vision that was cast last year, haha literally, for 300 net leaders by the end of this year. God's definitely moving in a greater way and im sure that at this time next year, by faith we would have moved out of Yishun!

to fall facedown

2008-12-29T00:48:00.002+08:00

recently i was reminded of a dream/vision that i have. through youth camp i was reminded of this. and yet the last week at the edge. no the most powerful time of the night wasn't during worship itself. it was what happened before worship. elvin was leading that day, and i remember him saying that yes we must have a spirit of excellence in our playing or singing, but yet at the same time God just wants us to enjoy worship. and for once in a very long time, i fell facedown. there wasn't loud music, there wasn't joel giving his sick solos or james with his awesome drumming, but just a worship team that was with one heart, and an acoustic guitar.

to fall facedown

catching up

2008-12-21T23:16:00.003+08:00

past few weeks have flown by quickly and Christmas and the New Year's just round the corner. had youth camp just the past week. well what can i say, God never fails to move during camp. there's just something about leaving the life that you know so well for just a few days away from distractions thats really liberating and allow God to do so much in such a short span of time. flew off to HK a few days after on sunday! well haven't been to HK in a long long time, last time i went was like 8 years ago or smth. haha tried something new this holiday though. i wandered around honkong by myself! it's really easy travelling in HK cos of the subway and stuff, so yeah i got lost in HK! and i figured out that that was prolly one of the best ways to travel, just gettin lost in a culture and land that you dont really know. needless to say the food was AWESOME! and it's rather chilly there, prolly aound 18 to 20 degrees, imagine standing on the streets eating CURRY FISHBALLS on a stick. the feeling's awesome man.

been great meeting up with a few of the classmates recently at cindy's party. just been great catching up with them and stuff. talking bout how we've all been since the A's ended and we've all moved on with life. and well i can't help but thank God, for placing all the friends in my life, classmates, friends in church etc. it's amazing and probably incomprehensible how God works in our lives, placing strategic people in our life, moulding our characther, gradually shaping us through the relationships and experiences that we go through. so heres a thank you to all my friends out there, well just for being there!

and of course theres what happens after prom...

2008-12-05T20:39:00.011+08:00

haha insights on what happened after prom. so yeah the class didn't go for post-prom @ O Bar but instead went down to clarke quay riverside and just sat by the river and got drinks and snacks from 7-11 nearby. much quieter and a nicer ambience if you ask me as compared to a club or bar. the breeze was nice and light, had some nice heart to heart talks with some people, which sadly you don't really get nowadays.

Ahh yes the long walk back to the hotel. rather artistic shot dont ya think?

And yes pity the poor girls who had to walk around in heels for almost 10 hours. so tired that they took off their heels and walk barefooted!

YES THIS YOU ALL GOT TO SEE! see the hotel room's rather neat now, it was a WRECKAGE before! 5 girls threw their make up and stuffs all over the bed its like they brought their whole wardrobe to the hotel room! and yes that night was one of the nights when i relised that pretty and usually demure girls can be rather unglam too.

07S52 guys and girls! hope yall had fun!

As we bid farewell

2008-12-04T14:27:00.014+08:00

Senior Dinner & Dance '08 was one filled with memories of the past 2 years. the times both good and bad that i shared with classmates and schoolmates alike. performing with Csus4 for what most probably will be the last time ever, and probably one of our most memorable performances. awesomeness

and yet we bade farewell to one of our own. the following day we sent sally off back to indonesia. and for once in a long long time i felt a tinge of sadness. 2 years have flown by real quickly, and yet somehow though we wanted it to end real quick, now that everything's over, we somehow want to go right back to the start.

a few days after

2008-11-22T01:07:00.004+08:00

AIGHT SO ITS OVER! A levels are no more and no more studying for 2 whole years at least! so yeah not a very emotional ending not as i imagined, though there was a shout of jubilee from the hall at approximately 9:18am on tuesday. haha i only know cos i got my freedom 15 minutes earlier. some pictures on the day of release! (:

yeap 07S52 thanks for the wonderful memories! may we remain friends for a long time to come!

my dear chemistry

2008-11-14T19:04:00.002+08:00

my dear chemistry paper 1, why were you so difficult? i read your questions, i don't understand. i see your answers, i dont understand even more! and you left a question you tested in November 1999 in the paper, forgot to remove?!

EH EH EH

2008-11-12T21:59:00.002+08:00

EH EH EH the As are almost over! Econs paper 1 ended today and yeah so all that's left would just be physics and chem MCQs! but still have to study! haha contrary to belief. well on the whole i'm rather satisfied with the effort that i put in and the papers themselves, only regret would probably be physics paper 2, rather difficult considering that people taking H1 physics are well, less academically inclined in the study of physics, they should make the paper more doable! but sadly it was rather difficult but ohwells, this'll probably the last time i even have to hear about Newton ever (:

well so after paper today, a few of us in the class went down to pp and had an Indon dinner! haha courtesy to our very own sally! haha she recommended this quaint indonesian restaurant just opposite the police post specialising in ayam penyet! which is basically fried flattened chicken with sambal and rice. and it was AWESOME! haha especially so cause they had this sweet sauce thingy that i presume we have the chinese version but the indon version seem much tastier and nicer! unfortunately according to sally you cant get it in singapore. haha wells it was a little expensive though, like 7 bucks. but ohwells, good food is always worth paying for! haha (:

new favourite song

2008-11-11T19:01:00.002+08:00

new favourite song! You Are Here by Hillsongs London! the bridge of this song is actually "The Same Power" in United Live's This Is Our God album! check it out!

lol random thought

2008-11-09T23:19:00.003+08:00

haha well A levels halfway through. WEDNESDAY marks the end of all the other content intensive papers! after that its just MCQ and YES it's over! well papers have been alright i guess, math was balanced haha, pure math rather difficult, stats on the other hand quite doable. well we'll see how anyways.

haha anyway a random thought crossed my mind this evening! i hope this doesnt offend anyone reading this, but i realised that actually in this small island there are alot of pretty girls! dont call me a pervert or skirt chaser or what haha its just a random observation! haha. but then again beauty isnt on the outside isn't it, haha.

SKY! SKY! SKY!

2008-11-04T21:03:00.002+08:00

nice acoustic duo DEPAPEPE doing one of their many awesome songs! Check it out!

what a way to start it off

2008-11-04T01:01:00.002+08:00

and so finally the As have started, and what a way to start it off! GP paper as most people would agree was well, unpredicatble for lack of a better word. my oh my i mean like seriously how on earth do you write on a topic like " Discuss the view that too much faith is placed in statistics" whats more the hugely popular topics for study of the environment and education didn't come out. oh my oh my. what a way to start of the A levels.

performance at SDD?

2008-10-25T23:36:00.002+08:00

hoho so we're gonna perform at this years Senior Dinner & Dance! looks like Csus4 asn't quite died out yet haha. well this shall be our swan song i guess. but somehow after that we always seem to get the opportunity to perform again. well this will be our biggest yet, apart from perfect 5th. and yeah we'll do it well (:

probable songs:

Always Be My Baby (David Cook)

Home (Chris Daughtry)

I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing (Aerosmith)

haha yeah man i dont wanna miss a thing. lol after the late nights outside the guitar room, WE LOVE THIS SONG! haha and personally i'd like to do home too, cause the lyrics are hmmms well rather fitting for the occasion. well we'll see how it goes then! (:

as we look back

2008-10-23T23:11:00.002+08:00

well a sudden realization that in about 3 weeks time the As will be over and yeah it'll mark the end of this 2 years spent in JC and signal the start of yet another new phase in life. looking back on the past 2 years i began to wonder what really have i learnt this past 2 years, what can i take away with me from this entire experience that is JC life that would see me through the rest of life's journey. haha you most probably would have thought that i would have answers, well but surprisingly, or not, i really dont have them. but then again i guess the answers will only become clear when we move on and then reflect back on the times gone by.

but i must say that though short, this past 2 years have been filled with fulfilling friendships, experiences both good and bad, that have helped me grow both emotinally and well, mentally i guess. though i have many regrets, haha one of which is not studying hard in year one (yes really i do regret that try hard to believe me alright) and suffering now in year 2, and well just many what ifs. but then again i thank God for allowing me to go through what i've gone through, good or bad. being placed in a position of leadership taught me many things, how to deal with authority, how to work with people who might not exactly see eye to eye with you, how to stand up after defeat, how to do better the next time when you've been reprimanded and improve, not making the same mistakes that you did. taking critisicms well not as critisicms, but rather advice pointing you toward the right direction.

as for studies wise, i guess i realise something which i should have known, or maybe did know but somehow it just didnt sink in deep enough. haha consistent work will get you places, trying to cram things in last minute does you no good and you most probably fail at whatever you might be doing. haha sadly its a little too late to realise that now, given the 10 days left to the As, but well hopefully this will be a lesson learnt.

side note, econs is best studied at night when its real quiet and theres no distractions haha.

hmmmms

2008-10-20T19:05:00.002+08:00

hmmms well sometimes encouragement can come from places that we least expect, from people well who maybe seem to be just there. like last sat when eeling came up and gave me a small card which says "God's the boss" haha or something along that lines. and dorothy too, whom well i don't talk to alot. she gave me a badge with a verse from phillipians and a small lil note of encouragement, haha on account that we've been youth camp groupies for quite a number of years. haha so yeah thank you both! (:

and its rather nice to know that there are people around who care past themselves, to the peope around them. somehow it just makes the world such a nicer place to be in (: alright so cheers everyone! to those taking the As and Os, don't give up don't give in, its hard work now but it'll soon be over. lets do this well to the best of our capabilities and make sure that at the end of the day whatever results may come, that we'll say that we've already dont our best and give it all we've got! then we'll have no regrets (:

hmmmms

2008-10-16T00:13:00.002+08:00

i realised something today. i actually worry quite a fair bit. quite contrary to the rather happy go lucky image that i portray sometimes. haha hmmms and maybe it got me thinking a lil. like i always tell other people not to worry too much or just take things one step at a time, yet i myself find it rather hard to do. and of course most of the time my worries are rather unfounded and well rather silly at times.

another realisation. stress ( or rather the perception of it) manifests itself in my body. like before any major exam this year ive had to go to the doctor for some reason or another. and well hopefully this wuld be the very last time since well for the next 2 years i don't have any exams to take. i hope lol.

i can only imagine

2008-10-15T20:28:00.002+08:00

I Can Only Imagine by MercyMe

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

well its been quite some time since ive heard such a powerful song. and its pretty old this song i guess. but the lyrics well just spoke to me i guess. i can only imagine.

a call to arms!!!

2008-10-14T19:02:00.002+08:00

hoho 28th january 2009! Basic Military Training Centre School 2 Pulau Tekong! haha its time its time! haha ohwells we all have to go in anyways, might as well go in earlier haha, then can come out earlier haha.

Love

2008-10-13T18:06:00.003+08:00

haha ripped this off jiayi's blog who i think ripped it off someone else's blog haha. it's quite true and hmmms maybe something a majority of us don't really understand and cannot fathom. take a read (:

Loving someone has great benefits.
There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness.
In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way.
We learn the truth worthlessness of material things.
We celebrate being human.
Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person.
Despite popular culture, love doesn't happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor.
It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming.
It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.
You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated.
You are not doing it to be loved back.
Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone.
You either don't, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology.
It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Music at its best

2008-10-11T00:09:00.002+08:00

haha i was utterly blown away when i first saw this video. its both technically challengeing but what i really love is the improvisation they do! haha this proves that many songs can come from a single chord progression! nice nice nice check it out (:

Farewell assembly photos!

2008-10-05T19:11:00.007+08:00

Awesome Oreo cheesecake cum ice cream cake thingy that Miss Wong bought for the class!

sally and jason seem to bear striking resemblance to one another. looks like they're siblings or something. hmmmm

haha see the 2 camping the cake hogging their seats so one else can eat. HAHA

brotherhood! dont look down on xx (the girl in the pic) she can pawn any guy at any time with the number of pull ups she can do.
haha and now these 2 jiayi and crystal taking advantage of the situation whilst everyone else was busy checking their CCA records. ahahaha

oh no whats happening!

2008-10-04T00:00:00.002+08:00

i must have been overwhelmed by the fact that today officially is the last day of school and something up there went haywire. i bought 2 books in the span of 2 hours. oh no this is not good. yes the aquisition of knowledge is undoubtedly beneficial, but the same thing can't be said about your wallet. 30 bucks just gone like that. oh shucks i mean im not the avid bookworm nor do i detest reading, kinda somewhere in the middle. like when i think a book is good i actually will attempt to read it and finish. but ohwells looking to those 2 books to tide me through the next week or so. "Passion and Purity" by Elisabeth Elliot and "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. haha apparently the school recommendeed the latter, its a tradition i think to recommend a book to every batch of students right before the As begin. last year it was "The Little Prince" haa. ohwells hopefully they'll be great reads.

anyways this past week or so hmmm has been rather life changing in a sense. not as in drama drama mama mama thosekind of life changing, but hmms rather a shift in perpective and maybe attitude i guess. haha. and yes this pertains to relationships haha. so yes people stop asking me who strawberry is haha. i sorta realised that at this period an point in my life, pursuing a relationship isn't something that should be of a priority now. and yeah like in the previous posts sometimes rushing past the friendship stage into the dating game well haha i just don't quite want to take the risk of that relationship not working out and well hmmms in extreme circumstances losing that friend. well its never easy trying to place those thoughts aside i must admit the feelings will always exist and its a struggle i guess when you've somehow been constantly messaging the person and calling her up and stuff and then it suddenly comes to a halt. haha im being very open and honest here well hmmms maybe cos this is something we all can learn from. and you can still definitely suffer from "hangovers" for example checking your phone every once in while somehow hoping that you'll get a message. but i guess its something that will tak time, and yeap. i do believe that if it's in God's plan to bring te both of us together, then well nothing can keep us apart. BUT i'll leave it to His time and His season :) guess we'll be better off that way

awesomeness

2008-10-03T15:47:00.000+08:00

probably one of the best videos i've seen so far (: enjoy (:

haha its complicated

2008-10-01T00:36:00.003+08:00

i recently got back a book i lent out to a friend titled "i kissed dating goodbye". and well i guess its been a rather timely return i should say, since re-reading the book well has reminded me of certain things which somehow slipped away unknowingly or maybe even knowingly.

singlehood, dating, marraige, growing old. i guess each of us will go through each one of these unique phases in life (hopefully). and well somehow it seems that everyone wants to rush past the singlehood period and move on to the dating and relationship part. haha well that included me. but then i realised, that each and every phase in our lives are well aptly put once in a lifetime experiences that we'll most probably never get to re-live. and i guess most of the time, correct me if i'm wrong, that when we rush past the friendship stage of a relationship and onto the dating part, hmmms somehow i guess it usually doesn't work out in the end? haha well i shouldn't be talking bout relationships since im a greenhorn in this field of study, a total noob haha in the dating game. but yeah at least thats the case from what i observe. ohwells

The 7 Habits of Highly Defective Dating:

1) Dating tends to skip the friendship part of a relationship
2) Dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love
3) Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships
4) Dating can distract youn adults from their primary responsibility
5) Dating can create an artificial environment for evaluating another person's character
6) Dating often becomes an end in itself
7) Dating can cause dicontent with God's gift of singleness

extracted this from the book "i kissed dating goodbye" by joshua harris. well yeah there you have it haha not all 7 have to apply bt i'm pretty sure beyond a reasonable doubt that one or more of the above might apply to you specifically. haha you don't have to agree with it, everyone has an opinion and is entitled to one and these are just my views :) so but yeah dont try to rush into a relationship just for the sake of doing so, singlehood too is a period in our lives that we ought to enjoy and utilise fully. haha so enjoy! :)

so how bout bringing it into the light?

2008-09-27T23:33:00.002+08:00

i'm sure all of us have a side in us that we're not that willing to show other people. it could be a certain bad habit, a certain attitude, an anger problem maybe, or maybe it's just something you did in the past which you weren't that proud of. yes you may have let go of it already, gotten over it probably, but yet many a times you're once again reminded of it whenever you encounter certain circumstances or situations. and then you feel held back, shackled almost by your past, or maybe even your present.

and sometimes these things that we hide so carefully actually have such an adverse effect on us. they can prevent us from being who we really are, they can prevent us from stepping out sometimes into the unknown, or even cause us to stumble time and time again, prventing us from rising up to our fullest potential. its not till we are released from the shackles that bind us, can we well, experience true freedom.

well so how do we find that release? how does it come about? well by bringing it into the light. in the darkness we feel safe, secure sometimes in the knowledge of the fact that in the dark, no one knows what i did or the things i struggle with. but if we remain in the dark, we definitely won't find the release that we need. its only by having the faith, and the COURAGE to step into the light are we able to then experience freedom. dont underestimate the hold your secrets may have on your life, sometimes we don't understand or simply cannot comprehend the extent of its control over us. and it takes courage definitely, to step into the light, out of the darkness.

so what constitutes stepping into the light? well i believe it can come in many forms. be it just telling your parents, or those placed in authority over you, or maybe just telling a close friend, one whom you know will be able to support you and hold you accountable. is it easy? no definitely not its always hard, we're afraid of being judged, we're afraid of how people's opinions may change about us when we tell them. but i guess its only when we're able to do so, can we find the release from the secrets that have bound us unknowingly, and hoefully experience the release and freedom that we so desire.

the power of words

2008-09-25T23:16:00.002+08:00

i believ words sometimes speak more than actions, contrary to the saying that actions speak louder than words. i mean yeah definitely actions definitely give let us see something tangible but well, sometimes i gues words are equally powerful.

i have always believed that words can be used powerfully, both to build up a person and on the other hand to put down a person to such an extent that he might just never be able to stand up again. which is why i have always watchd the things i say, cause i guess each person takes things differently. for some well they might just brush it off not being affected by what others might say, but on the other hand there are definitely some that will take words to heart. haha im such a person i guess. and its real hard to find a balance between the two i guess. haha for me i guess i'm very much affected by the things tt people say sometimes, and it's a weakness haha i can say. but wells i guess people are different and we're all affected by different things.

so yeah watch what you say, cause sometimes you might not know that by saying the things that you say, you might have hurt someone.

haha just a thought on my part :)

worship CDs anyone?

2008-09-22T01:12:00.002+08:00

ever wanted to get the latest Hillsongs or Planetshakers CD? or how bout those from Chris Tomlin or Lincoln Brewster, which you can't seem to find locally? check out www.theglowtemp.blogspot.com !

one in a million

2008-09-18T23:48:00.002+08:00

got inspired reading someone else's blog. every wonder if the people that come into your life, come by for a reason, or is it just due to a random chance that they just so happen to pass by?

i mean i'm sure some of us in fact all of us have people in or life which we consider dear, i mean apart from our families haha thats a totally other story. be it dear close friends, teachers, mentors etc. ever wondered what life would be like without thes people? which brings me to the topic proper? are people placed in our life due to random chances, or spcifically made to pass by by some higher being, God??

persnally i believe that God chooses to place each and every specific indivigual in our lives. you may have your own opinion and yeah everyone's entitled to his or her own opinion, there's no right or wrong. but somehow i feel that each and every person that "passes by" in our lives, all form part of this life that we have, the experiences that we go through, the emotions we feel, the hurts we sometimes recieve, and the blessings we sometimes give. all these i belive shape us over time gradually, our character, the values we have, basically the kind of person we'll turn out to be a few years down the road. so each and every indivigual has a part to play in this moulding and shaping process, and that makes each one special. just a thought :)

and the banks go crumbling down

2008-09-16T23:40:00.002+08:00

i'm sure by now most would have heard of the collapse of Lehman Brothers, one of the largest investment banks in the world. i mean at least for those who bother to keep to date with whats happening elsewhere. finally we somehow see how economics relates in real life haha, ohwells thats beside the point. the bank's collapse sent stock markets all over the world into chaos, with its effects being felt in most parts of Asia, not just in America. what this basically means, correct me if im wrong, is that when a bank collapses, all the cash you place in the bank basically evaporates into thin air. thats rather depressing to imagine right. like say you place all of your life's savings into a bank and overnight it just goes bankrupt, there goes all your money. haha after econs paper yesterday, one of the econs teachers in the hall said something which just cracked me up. it went something like this: "i guess many of you might have heard rumors that Lehman Brothers, one of the largest inestment banks in the US, has collapsed. well its not a rumor its true. and what an auspicious time for it to happen, when you're doing your econs paper. which is why we don't teach you banking anymore, cause its a whole load of nonsense." haha seriously that just cracked me up. but then again imagine the consequences when all the major banks in the world start collapsing and money just disappears. i don't think its gonna be a rather pretty sight. i mean then again like we learn in econs (see applying econs knowledge can actually happen) central banks have in place a set of measures to revent banks from going bust and all that stuff, cash reserve ratio blah blah. but wells, lets hope tat doesnt happen, cause its a sign of worse things to come.

random pics galore

2008-09-13T02:48:00.010+08:00

major intellectually intensive papers are over, and it's those kinda papers where after you've done it you have totally no idea how well (or badly in most cases) you're gonna do. chem & math, definitely. physcis was surprisingly manageble, rather easy actually. but ohwells then again physcis is the kinda subject that even though you study hard for it, if you cannot do means you cannot do haha.

on a side note here are some random pics lol

haha bass section! hmmms an interesting mixture of expressions. from left to right - shocked, sexy (or at least trying to be) , macho, act cute, garang.

ahahaha yes yes correct one. haha

something looks weird in this photo. i wonder why.

haha alright not really a galore, but more will come as soon as prelims are over, which are in less than a weeks time. YESSS!

2008-09-08T23:13:00.003+08:00

"lifes not so much what you make it, but rather so much more of how you take it "

read this somewhere and it got me thinking. not so much what we make of it, but rather how we take it. papers today were catastrophic. haha ohwells

boring

2008-09-01T23:27:00.005+08:00

boring. haha the only word to describe life for perpetually every year 2 now. nothing besides burying oneself in heaps of notes and piles of past year prelim papers. need i say more? the past year chem papers are tough as usual really demoralising haha.

but then again things do happen to add that dash of excitement that we so dearly need. when peopl say that rats are as big as cats, BELIEVE THEM. one of the nights last week some rat managed to get into the house and it hid under the kitchen stove. dad tried to get it out and he thought he did cos when he peeped under the stove he couldn't see anything. but lo and behold when i turned on the kitchen light i came face to face with this humongous rat the size of a smallcat. our eyes met for a second and it darted under the stove again. i didn't really want to chase it out haha who knows it may have attacked me and i'll get rabies or something. so i just left the ligh on haha and went upstairs cos i was quite certain that it would' come out so long as the light was on. haha but the drama was after that, when i think mum went down an she saw it to. a ferocious battle ensued with mum and dad against giant rat. mum and dad won, but not without suffering casualties. haha mum sprained her ankle cos the at lunged at her and she jumped and landed badly. ohwells but in the end the rat left. i think.

been watching too much john mayer recently esp his live concert where the light is. it just make me think i'll never even come remotely close to becoming a decent guitarist. ohwells heres some videos enjoy.

John Mayer - Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

John Mayer - Why Georgia

and serously, 200 GUITARS?

i rather envy professional musicians. not just for their skills but rather also for the fact that they get to enjoy what they do and still make a living. ohwells.

look how much we've grown!

2008-08-24T23:11:00.003+08:00

oh man check out some of the hair we use to have! haha compared to today, i guess we've grown. haha all prettier and more handsome! well then again some never change. like jason sin with his chee ko pek spectacles! lol :)

so thus marks the end

2008-08-23T23:52:00.003+08:00

it's been an awesome week. no not the studying and revision and mindless peparation for the prelims. but everything else that has been happening. frday was awesome. its what i thought i would never ever see happen. but it did. and i thank God for that. this evening's worship at the edge was awesome too. though it meant being out the whole day in church and well not getting any studying or work done, yeah it's well worth the time.

on a side not, this week would mark the official ending of lessons for the year 2s. i can't believe that a year and 8 months has flew by all so quickly. well it's been a fulfilling journey to say the least. the friendships i made, i probably will treasure. the experinces i went through, i probably grew. the lessons i learnt, the good times, and the bad times, have all made this journey through JC well worth it. the people that have came into my life, i'll definitely remember. and though it's somehow sad that at the end of this all, we'll have to go our seperate ways, well life does go on. we go on to new envronments, meet new people, encounter new circumstances, which well, help us to grow even more. that's all part and parcel of life ain't it?

ohwells so heres to the people that have made this all worth it!

to 07S52: to each and every one of my crazy-fun-loving-dont-do-homework-keep-ponning-econs-lecture classmates, we started out as a group of very different indiviguals, but i'm glad we made it this far. so lets run this race together. doesn't matter whether we finish first, or last. wha matters is that we did it together.( hualin, bernetta, lorena, weiwei, phyllinda, cindy, isabel, jiayi, elizabeth, huizhen, sally, crystal, xiaoxian, koganti, zhangliang, yinxun, jason, terry, yuanhong, kuokming, zhongyang, denis, hongming, jiannan, yaoyang, gavin)

to miss sharon wong: thank you for investing all your time and effort into our class. even though there may have been times when we made you angry or just let you down, thank you still for being patient and never giving up. you've truly been a blessing to S52.

to vjc guitarists: i've had an awesome time with you guys and i count it a privileage and an honour to have been able to lead you guys. we had our times of fun and laughter that we'll always remember. we ended on a bang with perfect 5th and that pretty much summarised what we were about. so thank you for being a part of this journey, i hope you've enjoyed it as much as i did.

to sharon, jenny, jasmine, waihong: haha we started out as a total bunch of misfits which i never though could work together. yeah we did go through our many times of lows, but at the same time we found friends in each other, going past just being members of the same EXCO. we struggled in the beggining and definitely stumbled along the way, but we ended it off on a high, doing what the batches before may not have done. so thank you, all 4 of you, for teaching me and guiding me throughout our terms. i've never said this, but you guys truly rock

to andrew: haha bro its been great having you as a friend. i'll always take with me all the nonsense that we did in guitar, and i definitely hope to continue performing with you even after we graduate. you're a great friend to have so yeah,all the best big guy.

to hweepeng: thank you for being such a great listener esp last year when all the nonsense was happening. haha you're a great person to be around and i'll always remember you for you hitting me! haha

to edward, yinhong, stephanie, huiyi, jungyang: you guys better do me proud! you've got yourself a very dynamic team with all of you having great leadership potentials. working in the EXCO's not going to be easy but theres nothing you guys can't overcome. i've done what i can to help you guys, and whether or not i've succeeded as a senior, i shan't say. whether or not i've succeded, i'll leave it to you guys.

to evonne, huimin, lynn, izzudin: haha you guys have been great juniors and i only regret not being able to sped more time to get to know you guys. continue to learn the guitar, and i'm sure with your talents and abilities, you'll surpass what your seniors have achieved! rock on!

Disappointed.

2008-08-21T18:44:00.002+08:00

well something i heard today really just got me down. i mean not down in a sad way but more like down in a kind of disappointing way. heard from danielle that Mike G the composer of Healer by Planetshakers, actually faked his illness. man that just totally got me down the rest of the day. i've always respected the worship leaders at planetshakers and hillsongs, i've always respected them as true worshippers of Christ, and i've always harboured the hope that some day, maybe some day, i might become like them.

here's a background story. Mike Gulielmucci's a worship leader and pastor at Planetshakers down under in Sydney. he wrote the song Healer while he was going through a terminal case of cancer. but now it turns out that he's been decieving everyone around him, even his family about his illness.

but as i thought about this, i probably never will know why he did what he did. but i guess to me, it just shows one thing. that no one is perfect and no one will ever be. no matter how Christ-like we are, we all will fall, whether or not we like it. it may not be something big like Mike, but even in the small ways and in our everyday life, we fall. thats the sad truth. you know people say being a Christian's easy and that your life will be smooth sailing and blessings just come your way. no way. in fact in my opinion, being a Christian's much more difficult. it takes a concious effort each and everyday, to make a decision not to conform to the world. it takes thinking through ech and everything that you say and do, to make sure that what comes out of your mouth, glorifies God and edifies the people around you. it takes respecting your parents and the authority placed over you, even when man times they may be unreasonable or well, just don't deserve any resect.

i myself have fallen all too many times. i've done things that i wish i never did, said things i wish never came out, and been sadly to say, a person i'm not. but time and time again, each time i mess up and just screw up so badly, i know that there is forgiveness. i know that though i fall time and time again, God's always there to pick me up. i guess that it's knowing that his grace and mercy will always be there, regardless of how far i stray, that makes me love Him so much more. and each and everyday i pray, that He will make me more and more like Him. Do we screw up? yes all the time. But i'm thankful that i serve a God that forgives. cause you see Jesus didn't die for the righteous, He died for the sinners.

So Mike G, you probably will never see this. but i believe that you know that no matter how badly you screwed up, you're still a mighty man of God used in His kingdom. leave this all at His throne, and know that where His presence is, there forgiveness and redemption flow. i pray that you will continue to serve Him with all your heart and soul, and know that He is our God. i pray that your song will speak to you, and that healing may come to all those who may have been hurt. take care bro.

"Being a Christian is not being different because you are forced to. Being a Christian is being different because you WANT to."

life's bittersweet sometimes

2008-08-18T23:15:00.002+08:00

you win some, you lose some. i don't know bout you, but recently i've just thought about why well, people though being born onto this world all by the same way, have sometimes very different lives. yes of course circumstances and situations definitely play an integral role in deciding what kind of life we lead, but at the same time, even here in the red dot, where most consider it to be a generally safe and conducive environment to grow up in, sometimes people's lives are still so very different.

and it seems that through all these, one thing stands out the most. you can't have, well, the best of everything. for some that i know, they have the closest friends that one could ever ask for, friends that are there when you need them, friends that you know you could count on. yet usually these people don't really have the closest of families. and vice versa, some could have a very closely knit and bonded family, yet are surprisingly well, friendless. can some get both? yes definitely and to you who may have the best of these, consider yourself lucky and count your blessings. yet then again there are some, that are neither here nor there. but then again, i do believe that behind all these, there actually is a purpose, for each and every single unique situation that we would face. being a Christian, i do believe that God's behind all this. then some may ask, why does God want me down so low? why does He let all this nonsense hapen to me, my family? isn't he supposed to be a loving God? doesn't He care?

well for me, i believe that everything that happens in life, well it happens for a reason. and many a times even for myself, when things aren't exactly gong the way i want it to be, i too sometimes question. but i guess that many times, its really cos we can't see ahead, that we question sometimes? i'm don't want to be preaching here or anything to respect you who are reading this, but speaking for myself, i know that God has a plan for me, and in His time, He makes all things work out. i may never really understand why God places me in a certain situation sometimes, but all i know is that it's part of His plan for me. so on my part, all i can do is to have faith and believe. it's not easy definitely but that's why faith, the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen, is therefore so important. so to you who may be facing a certain situation or circumstance, be it failing grades, or maybe a realtionship that's not going right, have faith that it'll turn out alright, cause it most probably will turn out fot the better. then again all that's been said are just my views haha just my thoughts.

Ecclesiastes 3:18

" To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born,
and a time to die;
A time to plant,
and a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill;
and a time to heal.
A time to break down;
and a time to build up.
A time to weep;
and a time to build up.
A time to mourn;
and a time to dance.
A time to cast away stones;
and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain;
and a time to lose;
A time to keep;
and a time to throw away.
A time to tear;
and a time to sew.
A time to keep silent;
and a time to speak;
A time to love;
and a time to hate.
A time to war;
and a time of peace.

haha owned

2008-08-15T00:00:00.002+08:00

stress can sometime make us, well rather weird and we then do rather odd things, often just to amuse ourselves. take for example today. dring our only break we were in the canteen, having our meals and stuff. someone, i think denis not sure, sees huizhen walking into school. mind you its's already around 10.45, which means she's technically 3 hours late for school. so the person (i'm really not sure who) doesn't say a word and just starts clapping. HAHA. one by one the ENTIRE CLASS that was in the canteen starts to clap as well. HAHA. by now we're just cheering and clapping like there's some important person coming and since we're all looking in the same direction and clapping so lodly, by now the whole canteen's looking at hz walking in, much to her embarassment. lol huizhen you got OWNED!! ohwells. something interesting in an otherwise uneventful and mundane typical school day.

relaxing laaa

2008-08-14T00:01:00.002+08:00

"therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. sufficient for the day is its own trouble" Matthew 6:34

i found this rather interesting verse in the bible just now and well, its kinda relevant isn't it? don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. i realize and i'm sure you would too, that in this short life that we have on this earth, we'll never be short of worries and problems. it's well part and parcel of being an inhabitant on this planet, having a mind and a soul. and yes we definitely have enough worries everyday already haha, i don't think we really need added worries for other days. hah let other days settle themselves, just worry about today. haha. that sounded like it rhymes haha ohwells. point is, worry so much for what? relaxing relaxing.

just whack la. haha yes JUST WHACK! don't care already haha everyday think study, sleep study, eat study, LIVE STUDY! ohwells i don't know why the sudden change in attitude, this would have never ever came out of my mouth last year. but somehow. aiya don't care la, just whack. not expecting to do realistically well, i know i won't haha, if not i'll be a genius, which i know i'm not already, seeing my Super Excellent but never Acceptable grades (HAHA take note of the caps) in the math and sciences, and well basically every other subject. but ohwells just try to push everything up to at least a D, and we'll see from then on haha.

"Tonight's a nice starry night :)"

desperate times call for desperate measures

2008-08-13T00:12:00.002+08:00

i jst ended math tuition. yeap thats right past 12am. ohwells i started at 10.30pm so yeah. my tuition teacher's some kind of nocturnal don't grow tired old man since he used to teach till 1 plus 2 in the morning. yeah its cause he's a very good teacher and not cause he gets a thrill out of doing math problems when its super quiet. ohwells random. but what to do. desperate times. desperate measures. haha i resolve to study till at least 11pm each night. hopefully this last ditch effort at revising and re-studying everything will miraculously work.

on a side note, all the best waihong, since it's your big day tommorrow. or ohwells. today! :)

undo what i've become

2008-08-10T22:43:00.004+08:00

Undo

Rush of Fools

I've been here before, now here I am again

Standing at the door, praying You'll let me back in

To label me a prodigal would be

Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be

Turn me around pick me up Undo what I've become

Bring me back to the place Of forgiveness and grace

I need You, need Your help I can't do this myself

You're the only one who can undo

What I've become

I focused on the score, but I could never win

Trying to ignore, a life of hiding my sin

To label me a hypocrite would be

Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be

Turn me around pick me up

Undo what I've become

Bring me back to the place Of forgiveness and grace

I need You, need Your help I can't do this myself

You're the only one who can undo

What I've become

Make every step lead me back to

The sovereign way that You

this song just spoke to me the first time i heard it. i'm not real proud of how i've been living my life. many a times i have just let fear and rejection just compromise the decisions that i make. it's a really great song with lyrics tht just speak for themselves.

So Lord i pray that even in the small things that i say and do, that i will honour you.

smile though its hard, cos it'll warm our hearts!

2008-08-10T13:42:00.003+08:00

randomly thought of this phrase this morning whilst i was taling to someone. like now's the kind of period when everyone's so sian and just so tired cause of everythings that happening in school, like preparation for exams and stuff. and yeah i always try to smile! even when its not really that easy to do cause you don't really feel like doing so, but then again sometimes iguess for me a real nice and genuine smile is all that i need to brighten up my day! :)

this is what makes going to school worth the while!

2008-08-08T23:41:00.002+08:00

loves 07S52! take care and mug hard! we'll get through this together! don't give up but press on and we'll finish this! :) :)

a day at home

2008-08-08T10:59:00.002+08:00

ohwells, see the time this was posted and you'll probably guess that i'm at home, on well a school day. national day celebrations in school though i guess nearly all the year 2s didn't go. when it comes down to being patriotic and singing nationalistic songs and waving the plastic singapore flags, to mugging for prelims, yeah we often choose the latter. then again bad choice made this morning. wanted to go to siglap macs to study its usually quiet and rather empty. somehow the possibility that all the schools i the area ending early and macs being flooded with boys wearing red tops and white schol shorts somehow eluded my mind. ohwells so here i am back at home sweet home.

anyway the funniest thing happened in class yesterday. after econs tutorial while waiting for mrs chan to come to class for physics, i randomly asked the entire class. "can i have a show of hands, how many of you will be ponning school tomorrow?" spontaneously and immediately the WHOLE class put up their hands, and everyone just burst into laughter. like wah seriously i thought maybe like 4 or 5 will raise their ands, i didn't expect the WHOLE ENTIRE class to raise their hand. phua was like " ohmygosh ian that was super funny do that again!" ohwells haha. it really was quite hillarious.

and i donated blood yesterday! though i wasted like 3 hours waiting for my turn. but yeah at least it was time well spent for a good cause. first time donating and yeah it eally wasn't that bad an experience. haha though the sight of seeing so much blood being drawn from you ( i think its like 600ml or smth) is really quite unnerving. kudos to the nurses who were real friendly and made small talk with each one tht donated. kudos too to all the victorians who went to donate, it was suppose to clase at 3pm but in the end they extended it till around 5 plus pm cos there were so many people waiting in line. plus you get this cool arm bandage thingy which comes in purple, yellow or pink! take your choice.

ohwells

2008-08-06T20:31:00.002+08:00

ohwells. just a few more weeks till the prelims. studying and revision has one full steam ahead. i've uplugged the TV cable in my room hopefully thats one less distraction. but then again there's still the bed and the guitar, ohwells just study outside then. i'm sure i'm more productive away from all these distractions.

ohwells. and recently for the past few days or so, my thoughts and feelings are seemingly going haywire. for instance i was angry at some lame stupid joke that really i didn't have any reason to get angry over. here i would like to apologize to that person for just being ovenrsesitive and nonsensical. haha but well she actuall felt rather bad about it and made up with a bag of cookies and a card. i'm usually immune to these kind of things, but recently don't know for whatever strange reason this immunity seems to be wearing off. it's kinda like i'm letting everything that hapens around me get to me, and somehow i just don't really feel so happy anymore. my classmates all notice and say: "eh ian, why so sian?" "eh ian, why never translate using mandarin in GP lesson?" "ian looks troubled, come sit down and share with me your problems." weird things like that. and the funny thing is i myself don't really know whats getting me down.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall diect your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

and to you who mean so much to me
you're probably never gonna read this
but i just wanna say that i'm sorry
for just taking things into my own hands
i know you've got your own problems
and i really dont want this to become another one
you wanna trust in His plan for us and i do too
so lets

artistic sia!

2008-08-04T22:13:00.003+08:00

wohoo i finally managed to find apicture of miss wong and her birthday card! the card very nice right! even though its very very simple, like just a plastic sheet with photographs pasted on it, but somehow i still think its simple yet says alot. it has like indivigual pictures of all the 27 in S52 each holding a letter ( and spaces and smileys lol) that form up into a sentence! cool! now any guess as to who made it??!!

2008-08-03T22:07:00.002+08:00

it seems that whilst the prelims are coming up, other things and responsibilities all seem to want my time too. ohwells i've never bee a really busy person, haha partly cause i'm rather slack but i don't know i've always seemed less busy than all my peers. haha now with CCAs over i have all the more so much time, but sadlymuch of it isn't spent on studying. everyone's stressed out, but somehow i think that there's still enough time. and like slow and steady's the way to go. ohwells. hopefully i'm right this time, but more than often haha i'm not.

yesterday was well one of the highlights of life in the recent months. well all this while since it happened well hmmm almost a month and half ago, i've been thinking alot. and part of me believes that this really could work out, while another part's saying, hey hold up and give this some thought. there's alot of things to consider i guess. but somehow a part of me wants to dive head first in and give it a shot. but then again i know that if in the end it doesn't work out and we go our seperate ways, the parting's going to be so much more painful. but i guess sometimes we don't really know whats going to happen in the future i guess. and wells haha we'll see where this goes. i guess its really quite amazing. someimes how God really just places people in your life, that well, on looking back you would have never imagined this person coming into your life and making such a huge impact. but then again we'll never understand will we.

alrighty to all those mugging hard (esp 07S52), study hard hard but don't forget to take time off to relax! ! :) do things like go for random movies after school (till like 9 plus at night, think the dark knight), play pranks on your classmates ( think denis ong and JAYZEE, LOL) and your teachers, make your classmates buy you drumlets (think crystal and xiaoxian LOL) ! ohwells

it goes beyind this

2008-08-02T23:47:00.002+08:00

It goes beyond this

It goes beyond the everyday school life that we have.
It goes beyond being stressed out by studies and exams.
It goes beyond just going to school each day.
It goes beyond what we're gonna study in the future.
It goes beyong where we'll end up 5, 10 years down the road.
It goes beyond making money and being materialistically satisfied.
It goes beyond what we can see.

no one knows what the future holds. no one can really know whats gona happen tomorrow. but me i'm not going to let school get me down. well studies are important, but that's not what 'm living for. no, i'm not living for school. i'm living so i can change my world. i'll never change the world no i won't. but i can change my world and the people aroud me. there are people that are hurting, and sometimes just need someone to lend a listening ear. there are people that are so bogged down by situations in life, and need someone to say "hey i'll keep you in my prayers." there are people well that get put sown by others, and just need to hear an encouraging word from someone. and well there are people, that just need someone to listen. Lord i ask that you help me become that person. my strength is weak, but you are strong.

i'm living to change my world

its really the simple things in life :)

2008-07-29T19:29:00.003+08:00

haha i guess that for mw at least, its really the simple things in life that make me contented and well, happy to say the least. haha ohwells its knida random. but today i went down to raffles place to get a new pair of glasses made (yeah shucks my degree has increased by 50, on BOTH eyes), and somehow i was craving for subway. i thought i vaguely remembered there being a subway in the vincinity of the area but to my disappointment there wasn't one in sight. then again on second thought, why would subway have an outlet in the middle of the CBD, the rent must be sky high. so i walked around looking for food, there was the kopitian foodcourt at the basement but somehow i just didn't feel like having, well proper food. so i just walked on and i came to this quaint rather old looking shop. there was no proper signboard but on closer inspection of the boxes placed on the counter i recognised the place to be an outlet of Hans. yeah like the food place that serves sandwiches and stuff. and you could tell by the look of the shop that it was rather old and stuff.

so hey why not give it a try. i remember Hans had a place at Parkway Parade or something, but it relocated into NTUC and it became so chic and modern, serving fancy food and beverages. But i looked at the menu and well, haha this was something i remember. ham and cheese sandwich with a teh bing :) and that just made my day! having simple food in well a simple shop, haha i even ate with my hands. but ohwells i guess that in this age that we live in, everything's so complex and complicated and well life just moves so fast. sometimes i think it'll really help if we just slow things down even if it's for a short period of time, and really just take in the surroundings and enjoy whatever we have. it really helps us appreaciate the things that we have even more. like 2 simple slices of ham cheese toast and a teh bing, haha thats enough to make me satisfied. ohwells on the other hand it cost like 5 bucks in total, which is crazy i probably could have had much more with the same amount. ohwells, btw anyone in the vincinity of Raffles Place MRT, drop by the shopping centre next to Clifford Centre haha you'll find the shop there.

Ohwells.

for once in a long long time

2008-07-28T22:14:00.002+08:00

for once in a long long time, i am feeling rather stressed out. i haven't felt stressed in a long long long while. not in the past year and a half or so of JC life have i ever felt stressed (yes belive me when i say that haha). but sadly today i somehow feel that its crunch time. that i the next 6 weeks or so is really everything that matters. i mean like all that we've done in the past 18 months, has to be, well RE-DONE in the next 42 days or so. a mean feat i would suppose. ohwells. at least my physics is H1, meaning i have only 10 topics. my sincere condolences to those taking H2 physics.

Faith

2008-07-26T20:03:00.003+08:00

i've been feeling giddy these past few days, and i reckon its cause my degree has increased in my spectacles. i get this weird headaches and giddiness like every 6 months, haha and it just means that my degree is increasing and increasing. ohwells it must be due to the fact that im watching tv and using the com like from 1m away, though if i remember correctly it should be at least 7m. ohwells.

had dinner with some classmates today, and i guessed that some of the stuff they said really just got me thinking. like whats gonna happen after graduation and the A's and stuff. i mean yeah i know that God has a plan for my life and that well, my plan can never be greater than the one that He has for me. but i guess that knowing something is really quite different from actually believing in it. and thats why we need to have faith right, the evidence of things unseen, the substance of things hoped for. and i guess that it's only when we go through trials and times of testing, are we able to grow in our faith, in whatever or whoever we believe in. and yeah i guess this applies to the decisions that we're gonna make in the near future, course of study, where we're gonna study and stuff like that. so yeah i really do hope one day, that i'll be strong enough to totally commit and believe in the plans that God has for my life, no matter how hard it may be :)

but then again, i guess that at the same time, we should take hold of every opportunity that we have. i mean yeah its definitely one thing to have faith, but at the same time its another i guess to realise the opportunities that come our way. haha i mean its ironic sometimes isn't it, when God (or whoever else you believe in) opens windows of opportunities for you in your life and you dont do anything haha cos you're believing in His plan for you. is finding the balance easy? definitely not, in fact i have yet met anyone well who really is able to strike a balance. but hey its something that i guess i will strive toward. well, just another part of my thoughts! :)

i really dont know what the future will bring
or what'll happen to this thing we have
but i guess that there's nothing much we can do
but just treasure what we have now
yesterday's history, the future's a mystery
maybe thats why they call it the present

its this false sense of hope

2008-07-24T22:32:00.003+08:00

once again its coming to the end of another week. i know that time flies when you're having fun! but recently i realise just very recently that time flies too when you think you need more time, like now. 4 weeks to prelims and somehow i dont really feel stressed. the people around me have already started not having a like, day in day out studying and revising like never before. but i guess its important la preparing for exams. haha well but i guess that as important as studies are we need a life. like seriously i think its super sad when life is all about studies and schoolwork. haha. i still remember during Os period of time, i went out with waihong and ang to play LAN haha, like on the days that we had no papers haha. but ohwells. haha i dont really think anyone should try that now.

anyway dark knight was AWESOME!! its one of the best movies made so far in my opinion. haha those who haven't caught it well you really should. the way the plot twists and stuff, and definitely not to mention the excellent portrayal of the Joker by the late Heath Ledger. i really admire people who really pursue their interests and passions, and well are just daring enough to sometimes take the road less travelled! i mean i guess many students today esp like at this period of time are quite clueless about what they want to do in future and stuff. and like even if theres something that we really want to do, many of us well i guess are really just afraid of pursuing our interests wholeheartedly. like those who say go study music overseas and stuff. haha my interest in music began like just a few years ago, i mean even though i did get lessons in electone since i was in primary school. haha but i guess that i really did consider studying music and well. but i guess that sometimes our dreams have to make way for reality. its too late to start music haha and well i guess haha, i'll only be able to pursue it as well something extra haha. i mean haha even for me, i guess that i dont really dare to step out and yeah take the road less travelled. maybe its the society that we grow up in, that well just makes us very practical and brings us down to earth. its rather sad yeah i know, haha well but sometimes thats the way things are right. haha.

Things i really want to do:
- take lessons in guitar
- pick up bass guitar and piano
- go perform at Ben and Jerrys for free ice cream :)
- go overseas maybe to the US to learn luthiery!
- get a driving license
- pick up sea sports again
- sleep for a whole entire day

ohwells. i guess all these things can happen after A's. excluding that luthiery thing to the US. thats quite impossible haha. buy hey, haha maybe next time when i'm got enough money haha. but ohwells haha. i'll leave that to the future and what it has in store for me. haha. but hey, never ever give up what you are really interested or passionate about, cause i guess at the end of the day, we wont want live a life of regrets and stuff. we only have one life, haha so live it!

Relationships 101 - the conclusion

2008-07-22T21:50:00.002+08:00

ohwells haha time to end this miny series i've got going on here. well i guess after alls been said and alls been done, i guess at the end of the day, a realtionship like our dear waihong said is sacred and its definitely something to be treasured. and i totall agree. i guess a relationship is well, something that requires effort and committment from both parties. i've always envied those very elderly couples who still hold hands and are so loving even at their elderly age. i guess its something that i really admire. i mean its really a feat i guess to keep a relationship or even marraige going for such a long long time.

well there will be trails and difficulties in any relationship, there definitely will. and you know, i guess that i believe sincerely that there's really nothing that cannot be solved. haha it may really not sound practical, but i guess that in any relationship, both parties have to learn how to give and take. haha i really dont think that the guy should always be the one giving in to the girl, haha but well both have to learn how to give and take, to be cared for and to care for. and well, i guess understanding is something that i guess every relationship really needs. like please don't expect yourboyfriend or girlfriend to be there all the time. the reality is that no one can ever be there for you all the time, sadly. yes definitely your boyfriend/girlfriend will be your emotional pillar or support and strength, but do know that he or she has his or her own life too. so yes haha please be understanding and dont get upset when he or she sometimes, well just cannot be there for you. thing is: learn to give, just as much as you want to take.

so yeah. to all those who are in a relationship now, i sincerely wish you all the best! its not easy to find someone that you really care for, and who really cares for you. so yes, treasure him or her, for you sometimes never know when the things that you treasure so close wil be taken away! :p

Relationships 101 - Of compatability and suitability

2008-07-21T22:54:00.002+08:00

Of compatability and suitability. so how we know whether the person we fancy is well, suitable for us? i mean. sometimes this "love" just clouds our vision and perception and well, just makes us blind. not in the literal sense, but well its kinda like everything the person says or does, well just seems so right! i mean its like the girl (for guys in this case) just seems so PERFECT! its like she was made JUST FOR YOU. oh well. then again i do think that for every man there is a woman. well thats another story for another time.

but i'm pretty sure we all know that well, life isn't so nice and pretty all the time. perfect people, well are non-existent. and i gues that knowing a person, well comes with time and definitely interaction with the person! love at first sight? haha i dont quite take to that. haha well so much for talking. example time, maybe easier to understand. haha for those of you that know the female protagonist in this example, haha please be quiet. there was this girl i liked last year or so. so yeah we got to know each other better and stuff and yeah like most hot blooded males i thought that this was the start of something new! (is that a line form a High School Musical song? i vaguely remember so thought i DID NOT watch it) but then as the term went on misunderstandings began to occur and well sad to say i nearly lost this friend that i had. i dont know like when you think you have feelings for this person, then you suddenly become super sensitive to every word they say of every action they do. and when sometimes they say things that well others would consider harmless, you kinda take it hard! so yeah long story short eventually she found out the real reason and stuff and well we patched it up. thing i wanna say is, dont jump head first into a relationship. take some time to get to know the other person better. well on one hand it can make you realise that maybe this person isnt all that you thought he/she was. but on the other hand, taking the time to know the other person would make you appreciate him/her even more, and strengthen the friendship or feelings that you might have toward the person! well again these are my thoughts haha i mean no offence to anyone.

shameless advertising haha. Brand NEW Silver Ipod Shuffle 2GB going at $100, price can be bargained down! haha ohwells.

relationships 101! part 2

2008-07-20T21:54:00.002+08:00

haha alright now since our dearest waihong and andrew chua have well, apparently broken the stereotype that i had that parents nowadays well dont want their sons/daughters to go out, haha i shall move on and well, give more of my cents worth. eh but then again realise that these 2 are guys, maybe its different with the girls. haha well i dont know.

haha well personally, i feel that each and every relaionship, not just romantic ones, are very special and unique to each indivigual. much more so when you consider romantic ones, i.e boy girl relationships (BGR)! and well, one thing that i read in this book called "i kissed dating goodbye" is that many youths nowadays, living in this "fast food" culture, want all the rewards and benefits of a relationship without really wanting to put in the required effort. the author also said the "intimacy is the reward of committment"! and i guess its quite true when you think about it. yea a BGR is definitely about intimacy with the other person and well, sharing you life with another person and well receiving the care and concern from the other, as well as giving it! but i guess that with all these comes the well, price or cost, for a lack of a better word, of committment! i mean like i see couples getting together and well, breaking up just a few months later. and well, i guess that sort of reflects the kind of generation that we are, which like i said, we want the rewards of whatever we do without putting in the required effort! not just in BGR but i guess in other aspects of life as well.

haha well i cant really think of anything else to say, haha it'll come when it comes back to me. i sorta dislocated my jaw cos i opened my mouth too big when i yawned today and now it hurts like crap whenever i open my mouth big. ohwells.

relationships 101

2008-07-19T22:19:00.003+08:00

i guess its something that growing up does to you. as we grow older especially now in our teens, we somehow develp the desire for companionship and well, just someone else to care for and to care for you. haha when we were younger girls were our ENEMIES and we just thought they were weird! haha. but somehow as we grow older due to various biological and psychological changes that we go through, we begin to see the other gender differently!

haha i don't know how many of you have been through a relationship or are in one currently, haha but let me share my one cents worth with you. well i myself haven't been in a serious relationship as of yet. well i had "girlfriend" in sec one but that was total nonsense haha cos it was just cool to have a girlfriend back then. we didn't even go out once and never ever talked on the phone. so i guess that doesnt count at all. haha well back to the point. well personally i would like my first girlfriend to eventually end up as my spouse! haha some would find that mentality just weird whilst some would think its really sweet! haha well everyone's entitled their own opinions haha! but yeah, i mean when we enter a relationship, im pretty sure that theres this slight probability, however small it be, when you think that your partner will one day become your spouse! but i guess going into a relationship with this mentality somehow makes you think hard before you actually enter one? haha well i feel that a relationship's actually something really serious along with all thats required to make one successful, e.g committment, trust, honesty etc. haha it may sound rather weird but ive always told myself that if i ever decide to get into a relationship with another, that i would always inform my parents and well, haha just let them know. take note of the word INFORM, haha you dont ASK them, cos you'll most probably get a lecture haha. and well i guess that i would even go to the exent of even asking her parents for permission! haha you might be thinking, woah i would never do that, but i guess it would make a the relationship that youre about to enter so much more, well fulfilling? for lack of a better word haha. anyway these are just my thoughts haha.

and i guess sometimes we also see our friends entering into a relationship and suddenly we just dont see them around that often. haha well im sure we know who they're with, but point is, in a relationship, its about you and the girl/guy,and well EVERYONE ELSE! :) haha. i've always felt that sometimes in a relationship wetend to focus too much on the other party, that we begin to lose the other people around us such as our friends or family. im not saying that all relationships are like that, but yeah sometimes i guess that it does happen! wel yeah i definitely agree that in a relationship between 2 people, they definitely have to spend time together, but at the same time "me" time is also equally important! haha by "me" time i mean time spent yourself with your own friends or family! it would be even better if you could bring your partner along! like let him/her get to know your friends! how cool would that be! but its not that easy haha i guess.

well just a bit of my own insights. haha feel free to comment! :)

hmmm ohwells

2008-07-19T21:06:00.002+08:00

ohwells. its been a few days but many things have happened. haha shant go into the details but i guess i realised one thing. there really arent many things that make me disappointed or sad, but the one thing i cannot stand is when one takes advantage of another's feelings. i mean like you can choose not to accept the care or concern that one shows on you, but NEVER EVER cheat another's feelings. its just really mean.

chin flicking ftw!!

2008-07-16T22:05:00.002+08:00

lol i recently started doing this new thing to my classmates and friends in school! haha its what i call chin flicking! like you just reach your hand and just flick the other persons chin! its something i learnt from the master of all things tricky and guru of sabotage, CHOO ZHONG YANG! haha this guys is so good he can slot a sweet wrapper in to your belt strap without you even finding out! haha its rather ticklish and feels rather weird but oh wells haha its random. try it!

anyway pamella lee left for australia this evening for studies! haha it was quite a massive send off at the airport roughly 50+ people i guess haha but oh wells heres wishing you all the best in your studies and bon voyage! continue to shine for God in aussie land and hope to see you soon!

eric clapton's wonderful tonight. haha its one of claptons nicest songs in my opinion but what i thought was rather cool was the saxophone keyboard blow through a straw thingy by one of the band at 4++ mins. ive never seen anything like it before and its really just awesome! and this just makes me want to learn jazz organ even more, haha though i doubt its easy and there really arent many people teaching that in singaore haha. this what i call music man haha though of cos clapton's guitar solo is well, haha clapton.

2008-07-15T23:16:00.001+08:00

John Mayer's waiting on the world to change. i love the thing they do before they get on stage, haha the "got your back" chant. just awesome haha. not that a john mayer fan but hey, such a talented musician and hes like how young. haha enjoy!

numbers are numbers, why make them complex!

2008-07-15T21:03:00.003+08:00

sigh. numbers ARE numbers! why the need to make them complex!!! complex numbers. by far the hardest topic to understand in math. i mean stats vectors, still can understand. but COMPLEX NUMBERS ! ohwells. the beauty of mathematics.

Chronicles of Ian and the Strawberry Girl! so thus was born the story of me and "strawberry girl", the girl i supposedly like! why strawerry? haha let me explain. after chem paper during CT2 the class went out for dinner at Dhoby Xchange, yes yes the "shopping centre" just above dhoby ghaut mrt station. haha rather random but we found this place serving jap food with free flow of ice cream and soft drinks at rather reasonable prices too! so yeah we had food and then i decided to get ice cream. well, strawberry ice cream. then liew jiayi said guys taking strawberry ice cream's gay. and cindy phua and gang noticed that i was exceptionally happy and cheerful that day! (well maybe cos exams just ended??!!) long story short, they concluded that i was so happy cos of well some girl, and because i was having strawberry ice cream, they decided to name her strawberry girl! err kinda random but yeah, this kinda things happen.

and throughout tht course of the past 4 weeks my classmates have ben trying in vain to guess and pinpoint the identity of the mysterious strawberry girl! well haha in vain. from random people like jasmine teo to hwee peng. hello just cause i talk to them doesnt mean i like them! haha. and today SOMEONE SAID SHE WANTED TO MARRY ME! i wasnt really paying attention but apparently bernetta tan said she wanted to marry me during break today! was talking to some of my other classmates when suddenly the adjacent table burst out laughing and said "IAN IAN Bernetta want to marry you! " oh wells now she's strawBERry. HAHA owned!

so thus marks the end

2008-07-13T12:35:00.000+08:00

so thus marks the end. my heartfelt thanks to each and everyone of you from VJC guitar that has made this journey such a fulfilling and enriching one. we went through high times and definitely had our share of low ones as well, but hey we came out better and stronger, both as an ensemble, and as friends. so thank you, the memories will last forever.

guitar farewell yesterday evening in school. ohwells i guess it was an evening of mixed emotions, a sense of fulfillment, satisfaction, and just the sense that maybe i really did help the ensemble in some way. and at the same time of course, a feeling of regret, due to some other reasons. here i would just like to apolgize to ahbang chua, for during our final persormance yesterday, i unknowingly denied him the chance of saying his final words and the speech that he prepared, sorry boss.

on the whole i thought the junior EXCO did a fantastic job of preparing all the gifts and the food and all the stuff basically. they handmade the giftsfor each and every senior, and on behalf of the seniors i thank you guys. and even yesterday amidst everything else, i still was rather disappointed. the turnout of the juniors was well... disappointing. maybe its something that we did wrong, maybe we didnt get to know them well enough, which maybe made them feel, well not so attached to the seniors. will we ever know? well i guess not. but to those that took time to make i down and prepare the various performances, i thank you.

haha some pics of the gifts. the plates were all handmade by the juniors for each senipr indivigually! and miss xu huiyi handmade the keychain thingy which i thought was very very nice since its handmade it represents her effort and sincerity so much more! thanks magnet! :)

Thank you sharon, jenny, jasmine and waihong, for being there all this time. we had our fair share of lows, but we ended on a high, and had each other all the way.

Thank you edward, yinhong, huiyi, stephanie and jingyang, for being the greatest bunch of junior EXCOs that i could ever wish for. you guys are a great bunch and i'm sure you'll make me proud.

Thank you abang chua, for all the nonsense that we did, and being such a fun guy.

Thank you hweepeng, for being such a great friend and listener.

Thank you juniors who made your way down yesterday, it really meant alot to us, whether you guys know it or not. you guys are a fun bunch so keep having fun, and do guitar proud.

And lastly, to each and every member of the VJC Guitar Ensemble, for being a part of this great journey. You guys rock and i am sincerely very honoured to be able to have the oporunity to lead you guys. i apologise if i didnt get the chance to know each and every one of you, but hey we've had our fair share of fun, and i'm definitely gonna remember you guys for a long time to come.

there goes another week

2008-07-10T16:11:00.000+08:00

MISS SHARON WONG TURNED 16 THiS WEEK! or so she says haha. well then happy 16th birthday miss wong! thanks for all that you've done for the class and the time that you've invested in each and every single one of us! things may get tough sometimes but press on! haha things'll turn out fine! :) anyway i was rather proud of the birthday card the class gave to her, haha partly because i was the one who thought of it!! for once i can say i'm proud of the something i made, haha which well usually isn't that astethically appealing. try to get pics from her and i'll post it up here!

went with miss wong and a few peeps from the class to swensens ytd for dinner. had the mega burger as i always do cos its the only thing that looks like its worth its weight in money haha compared to everything else. but i think we should try new things in life. like that then got excitement. another example. honeydew sago from school canteen for almost a year. tried ice jelly cos they ran out of honeydew sago, it totally thrashed honeydew sago! lol random. anyway back to dinner. after we finished the food, we just sat there and talked about, well what teens talk about. haha basically we just gossiped about well, everyone haha. and unforunately i dont know why ytd i was on an adrenaline high and i just spouted out everything and anything i knew. here i would like to apologise to anyone and everyone whose secrets i leaked out ytd haha. especially the boss mr lee. i noticed something funny too. fower girl left toward the end around 8pm, haha i thought maybe she stay far far thats why leave early. then mr yellow yellow left 5 mins shortly after. haha. TRYING to act as though he genuinely had to leave. haha. the rest you can inder yourself! ;)

and tomorrow marks the weekend of term 3 week 3. time flies and this only means we're one week closer to prelims. ohwells. study hard lorh. haha theres nothing else we can do really i guess haha. and dont try to study at home, unless your uber self disciplined, which from my observations is really just a minute minority. study at school! or anywhere else you fancy. haha without the distractions from that big stack of feathers and springs we call a bed, haha i think we'll be much much more productive! :)

saturday's gonna be awesome!!!

2008-07-09T13:44:00.000+08:00

haha saturday's gonna be guitar farewell and abangchua and yours truly have planned a very very special performance item. haha we ran through the songs today and i wasn't really excited about it in the first place but haha now super excited. hopefully we'll manage to pull it off! :)

anyway i had the EXCOs over at my place for dinner yesterday night hah. played cluedo with the juniors who are just lousy pok never play cluedo before haha. the 5 of them against wach one of the other 3 of us. dinner was great and i got quite alot of compliments from the rest of them about the food. haha proves that mum's a good cook. and in a way i feel really blessed cos i've got a mum whose at home all the time when we need her, whereas many others dont see their parents till late at night and dont get home cooked food often. so thanks mum! :)

after the rest of them left i decided to go to ECP on my bike and i saw the rest walking to the VS bus stop. haha when they found out where i was going, alone, yinhong said "are you always this weird?!" haha. weird? maybe to others. haha but i call this taking time off for myself! i guess in this day and age where everyone's already so interconnected via the media and technology, it's really hard and maybe rare to find times when we are alone. is being alone important? yeah definitely. haha i guess being alone sometimes just allows us to reflect on things in our life and well, just think about life! or maybe it varies from person to person, haha some people are just naturally more reflective. and i guess as the school term progresses and things get more stressful and busy, time taken off from studies and revision will i guess be ever so important. time with friends yeah definitely. but more importantly, time with yourself! however WEIRD that may sound! :)

with all the things that have been happening
it's gotten us down maybe
but you just gotta know
that i'll be here, always

MATH CAN BE USEFUL AFTER ALL!!

2008-07-05T00:17:00.000+08:00

haha caught 21 today with some random guitar peeps at cathay today. haha student price is one of the best things that can happen at 6 bucks a movie is much more affordable than at like 10 bucks. anyway back to the movie, long story short, it's about this uber smart guy that attends MIT and is going on to harvard. basically hes a math genius and he needs cash to pay for harvard school fees. so with his awesome memory power and mathematic powress he gets recruited into this gang of students that play blackjack (21). its really quite cool how they manage to come up with the plot and the whole theory haha. in the end he ends up with nothing haha. ohwells go catch it for yourself, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

But then again this movie got me thinking. its ironic isn't it. like in the movie the guy won $315,00. but ended up with nothing. sometimes in life we get what we want. and when we want more, sometimes we end up losing everything, including that that we had. but then again i guess thats just really all part of being human. haha we're biologically programmed to be greedy i guess and oh well. i mean this i guess doesnt really apply only in the materialistic sense, like money and stuff, but i guess even in relationships! haha i learned it the hard way last year and nearly lost a really close friend. but ohwells. moral of the story: Treasure what you have now, cos you'll never know when it's gonna be all taken away.

NO MORE MATH REMEDIAL! ! !

2008-07-02T22:34:00.000+08:00

AS THE NAME SUGGESTS I AM OUT OF MATH REMEDIAL OFFICIALLY OUT OF MATH REMEDIAL! ! those who have not been in math remedial will not know the joy that i feel :) :) i mean seriously who would like to stay back for an hour on FRIDAY afternoon when school ends at 1245 when everyone gets to go off and you have to stay back in school for math. but yesh with 58 marks im outta there!

went back to guitar practices this week and i realised that i didn't really feel it but yeah i am gonna miss guitar practices and the people that were in guitar. haha like suddenly my monday and wednesday afternoons are free. its been such a short time together, but the times we shared will be unforgettable. some cute juniors were like "huh you really not coming back anymore?" haha ohwells. i guess its comforting to know that you're not just another person passing through their school lives. i dont mean to be egoistic or anything but i guess i mean im sure all of us in whatever we do, wherever we are, dont want to be people that just "pass by". i mean i'm pretty sure we all want to leave our "mark" and just know that we've managed to change the environment that we've been in. have i been able to do that? i guess thats not for me to say, but i'd rather let the next batch of EXCOs and guitarists do the answering. you guys are a wonderful bunch cotinue to love the guitar and most importantly HAVE FUN!

its gna be a disgusting term

2008-06-30T13:18:00.000+08:00

somehow today i finally realise, better late than never, that this term is gonna be a really disgusting term, for lack of a better term to describe it. the first prelim paper will be on week 10 which is like the end of august even before the september holidays start. which means no slacking at all during the term. but i guess its better this way haha. consistent study better than last minute study. and then again no more CCA this term. i dunno bout the rest but i'm sure gna miss guitar practices haha. ohwells

anyway andrew suggested writing a farewell song for guitar farewell next saturday. he wanted to write a chinese song -_-" i'm pretty sure half or more of the people there wont understand being the chinese illiterate culture that we cultivate in JC haha. hah trying to write a song is actually rather difficult. you need the lyrics that suit the song. which i think is probably the hardest part of song writing.

more pictures!

2008-06-29T13:40:00.000+08:00

here are more pictures from Japan trip! abit late and overdue la but ohwells haha enjoy! :)

the uber ancient but rather cool castle we went to! himeji castle! crystal and evonne! i lok rather weird in the photo. not photogenic la.

picture we took at universal studios! haha random guitar gang!
very nice view from the top of a ferris wheel we took of osaka city! their highways are really called HIGHways. not like those you see in singapore haha. at least 9 or 10 stories high kind.
senior and junior EXCO at minoh falls! along with teachers

haha this is something you DONT see in singapore. these racks of gibsons and fenders in the SAME shop. haha i alrady know of a few people that would kill to be there.

haha they had snares and cymbals too. racks of em. bear in mind this is still the SAME shop haha. musicians paradies.

of course which shop would not be complete without whole shelves of guitar effects! :)

this what you get. when you add a group of poor guys, with an expensive upmarket mall, and no people in the vincinity. haha we were so bored at some mall that we went to the we just sat outside and elevator lobby, lol. camhoring.

but definitely this trip will be one that i'll remember. from all the nonsense that we did, to just enjoying the company of each other whilst in a foreign land. the memories will last forever. thank you guitarists for ending my journey on such a high note! :)

tired sia

2008-06-28T23:01:00.000+08:00

it seems rather ironic now that te exams are over, instead of using the extra time to rest and get some well deserved sleep that we so dearly lack during term time, we instead use it on other random things hah and make ourselves more tired. been sick the whole week down with flu and cough and sore throat and all that nonsense. on the day i ended my last paper i stayed up till 4.30am in the morning playing computer games and watching tv. surprisingly i didnt get even more sick, but then again considering the colourful pills ive been taking after meals the ENTIRE week, maybe that explains it. but ohwells. haha i guess thats what we always do isnt it haha.

anyway worship today at edge was awesome! been quite awhile since ive been so touched at a worship service in a long long time. then again it shoudnt be the music that touches me haha. ohwells.

so now whats been said's been said
what's done has been done
will things change? maybe
but i sure do hope whatever we have
we wont lose
it'll take time yes
but mabe time is all we need

2008-06-27T03:43:00.001+08:00

haha was browsing through photos taken during japan trip just this june and decided to post some of em up here. enjoy! :)

haha guys at universal studios!

very nice ensemble photo taken at Kwansai Gaikin University! their campus in japan is uber cool check out the nice scenery in the background.
haha awesome photo we managed to take it just as the whale shark swam up behind us! one the best photos taken!

haha there're more to come but its kinda late now. though its around 3.30am haha i only get to stay up this late cos there's no school tmr people still having music and art exams and what not haha. good luck andrew! poor uy has paper at 8 am AND practical exam on sat.

New Blog!

2008-06-27T02:08:00.000+08:00

haha common tests just over and with so much spare time and nothing to do, decided to start a new blog since the old one's kinda rusty. well anyways the CTs were a nightmare haha especially chemistry. i think they purposely set the questions so that we'd be confused even reading the questions. the questions had a story of nd organic compund being an insecticide, WW2 stuff about some chlorine compound then the actual question's only 1 line long. haha so much for saving the environment!

well it was good going out as a class once more after such a long long time. and though there's still this apparent divide and "cliquishness" in the class, well i guess we enjoyed ourselves with free flow of soft drinks and STRAWBERRY ice cream! haha guys can like strawberry ice cream. it doesnt mean they're gay, according to some of my girl classmates. ohwells